Rufus “The Dufus” Swanson’s Blog

CO ($200)
Hero (MP1) ($211.50)
Preflop: Hero is MP1 with Q, Q
2 folds, Hero bets $8, 2 folds, CO (poster) raises $24, 3 folds, Hero calls $17
Flop: ($53) 10, 10, 6 (2 players)
Hero checks, CO bets $175 (All-In), Hero calls $175
Turn: ($403) J (2 players, 1 all-in)
River: ($403) 5 (2 players, 1 all-in)
Total pot: $403
Results:
Hero had Q, Q (two pair, Queens and tens).
CO had Q, A (one pair, tens).
Outcome: Hero won $400

I wanted to post this hand since to the best of my recollection this is the first time I have played an entire all-in hand while using the pee jar.

So during a session a few days ago I really needed to go and the action was slow. I grab the jar and raise up QQ with the one available hand. I get 3-bet by an unknown who has posted. OOP and with 7 pounds of sausage in my hand I elect to just call instead of 4-betting with the intention of getting it in. A paired flop comes down and it’s very unlikely to improve any of his possible hands. I check and watch him monkey shove $175 into the $50 pot. Still peeing I snap call, everything with this hand points to weakness. I thought AK made up the largest part of his range, with JJ, 77-99, coming in behind. All of these possible hands I have beat and this is an easy call. He shows AQ, and leaves the table after playing that one hand.

I hope to see this guy again, but it’s doubtful I ever will.

Rufus Hand History

All the ladies out there whether it be at the casino or in the online poker rooms have fights with each other on what they think my preferences are towards the physical appearance of a woman. I’ve included six photos taken from about a 20 second span of video to show what Rufus likes….

Hopefully this settles the arguments and fights out there.

Keep it classy ladies.

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And of course a gif and motivational poster has already been created, I’m sure many more will follow. There are rumours that Dana White is trying to sign the old guy to a one fight deal against Kimbo.

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Rufus is getting some attention in Russia now! Hello to Vlad, my newest reader.

Rufus Whatcha Listenin' to Rufus?

In this hand I raise 88 from middle position, folds to the SB who then raises it up to $18. I have over 2,000 hands on the small blind and he’s playing 13/4 with a 3-bet percentage of 0.4. Yes, point four. He will be continuing this hand OOP and I would be insane to think he was making any sort of play. In my mind he has AA 85%, KK 14%, and other 1%. With this given player I would have called his raise with just about any two cards knowing that he’s going to have AA and if I can hit something he’ll likely felt…

Hero (MP2) ($198)
SB ($198)
Preflop: Hero is MP2 with 8, 8
3 folds, Hero bets $6, 3 folds, SB raises $17, 1 fold, Hero calls $12
Flop: ($38) 8, 8, 7 (2 players)
SB checks, Hero bets $11, SB raises $49, Hero raises $77, SB calls $39
Turn: ($214) Q (2 players)
SB checks, Hero bets $92 (All-In), SB calls $92 (All-In)
River: ($398) 9 (2 players, 2 all-in)

Total pot: $398

Results:
SB had A, A (two pair, Aces and eights).
Hero had 8, 8 (four of a kind, eights).
Outcome: Hero won $395

 When the flop comes I’m like OMG followed by a bunch of lol’s. This flop is probably the best thing I could have hoped for and I absolutely know I’m getting his entire stack.

The SB checks (I know what he’s doing that sneaky snake) so I bet $11. Really the bet sizing doesn’t matter, if I were to do it again I’d just go ahead and make it at least half pot. He then of course raises, I min re-raise…again I would have just made it $100 or something similar but I think I was just having fun at this point…he calls. A Queen comes and he checks again, so I shove and he insta-calls with AA of course.

This hand was played in a really stupid awkward looking way from both of us, but it didn’t matter because I knew his holding and that there is no way that he’ll ever get away from it.

The point of this story isn’t a lame brag, it’s a lesson on not to be such a nit…that really means something if I’m calling you a nit. But 0.4 3-bet % is ridiculous, you just showed me your hand and gave me a $12 lottery ticket to win your $200 stack.

Rufus Hand History

The target is clearly within this picture and I didn’t even break stride to take it, practice is definately paying off.

Ok now WTF is she wearing? It’s like a full body ad for Remax. But on a more subtle note…her shopping cart pisses me off. Why is it at that angle? This woman probably sleeps with a tinfoil hat…and 11 cats.

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Hero (CO) ($197)
Button ($186.45)

Preflop: Hero is CO with K, K
6 folds, Hero bets $6, Button raises $10, 2 folds, Hero calls $4
Flop: ($23) Q, 8, 5 (2 players)
Hero checks, Button bets $24, Hero calls $24
Turn: ($71) 3 (2 players)
Hero checks, Button bets $152.45 (All-In), Hero calls $152.45
River: ($375.90) K (2 players, 1 all-in)
Total pot: $375.90

Results:
Button had 6, 8 (flush, King high).
Hero had K, K (three of a kind, Kings).
Outcome: Button won $372.90

This hand is coming from a few months ago, and it shows me getting crushed by a donkopotamus. This player was a 60/37, which is enough to make me wet. Now with these players I really hate to get a lot of money in with only a pair but in this spot I was more than happy to. Obviously with this guy his min re-raise PF means nothing, and in hindsight I probably should have re-popped him right there BUT I knew he was potting every flop and likely every turn before he’d give up…and I was somewhat right. So I decide to let him do all the work, likely this was a better plan if I had position but still, I’ll stick with my original plan.

So anyways this maniac 3-bets me PF and I call. I check and he insta-pots it, I call. Turn is essentially a blank and I plan on check-calling or check-shoving the turn, he does it for me and mashes the all-in button, I call without any thought. River gives me a set and I say FFS, that CS’ing MF’er made a F’ing flush. I quickly rebuy only to watch him lose my money to some 9/3 iPoker nit. I’m pretty sure I won’t see him back on the tables anytime soon.

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Last night at UFC 20 Tom Lawlor got robbed IMO, however we aren’t talking about that. Lawlor always is entertaining in and out of the cage, and last nights entrance to “Real American” made famous by Hulk Hogan was legen-wait for it-dary.

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Last week Ochocinco hurt his knee before the game and as a result only was able to play for half the game. Now before the opening round of the playoffs it looks like it’s all good.
“I had sex yesterday,” the Bengals receiver said. “With some of the moves I did — I should be fine.”

NY Post Article

I think he needs to share some of these moves, I’m assuming they’re more advanced than “The Rufus”.

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Hey Rufus,

Did you make any resolutions for the new year?

Jason

Hey Jason, I made the same resolution I make every year and that’s never to make a resolution. I’ve never understood people that do this, I hear “I’m going to quit smoking” or “I’m going to get in shape”. That’s great and all but do you really need to wait until January 1st? Why not stop sucking down cigs and Big Mac’s right now? Resolutions must have an insanely low success rate because if anyone seriously wants to change something in their lives they do it, and not talk about doing it or putting it off until the new year.

Debt is another big one. “I won’t spend any money on things I don’t need, and I’m going to pay off my existing debt” …awesome…now what’s your plan? Rarely could anyone ever actually explain how they plan to do this, I mean if they’re in such a pickle to begin with they’re probably perma-screwed thanks to a media caused defect in their brain, it’s called “IdeserveeverythingthatParisHiltonhasitis”. Oh Rufus you’re so negative, sure that’s what you can call it, just keep having your positive thoughts and watch The Secret one more time you lazy hippie.

And Jason if you go to a gym I’d advise you to stay away for the month of January, it usually takes a month for all the fatties to re-accept their destiny as hopelessly rotund.

Send your questions to Rufus AT AssRaked DOT com

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